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I Feel Out of Control; My Moods Are Like a Roller Coaster

When we feel our mood change, there is always a reason; something has happened to make us feel this way. Even when we are sliding into a major depressive episode and we know that the depth of our depression is far out of proportion to the event that caused our change in mood, we can take comfort in the fact that there was an event. We have reasons to feel the way we do; we are not crazy.

If you don't believe this, or if you can't identify the precipitants to your changes in mood, use the Mood Journal (see "Tools") regularly. It won't take long for you to begin to penetrate your own defenses and see that, for instance, the depression that took you down for no apparent reason yesterday evening probably has something to do with a difficult conversation with your mother yesterday morning. In the evening, you "forget" about the conversation, but the Mood Journal reminds you.

Sometimes the event is obvious: a loss, a disappointment, a setback. Sometimes the event will be obvious to others; we attempt to deny its importance, but we still feel the hurt. This is where friends, loved ones, and a support system can help. Sometimes the event is a memory, a dream, an association sparked by something we read or heard. This is where a private journal can help.

Knowing what's made us feel bad is the first step toward recovery. When we understand what's causing us distress, remember there are only three choices: Alter, accept, avoid. Try to change the situation, try to avoid the situation in the first place, and if you can't do either, work on accepting it.


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